Thanks, but NO THANKS! (or, the longest blog ever)

(Disclaimer: This blog is not intended to offend your beliefs, it is just me voicing the world from my point of view.)

Hello Amigos!

I am blessed and thankful to say I made it through another Thanksgiving without choking on some turkey, and enjoyed a delightful spread including my favorite, CORN! and a deviled egg or two.

(Quick side note: there was a screw up in communication with my family, and my mom and both my aunts each made a tray of deviled eggs, like 30 apiece. I laughed a lot at this and then challenged my whole family to see if we could eat them all. We didn't. A blessing in disguise? You be the judge.)

Anyway. The past few days I have been thinking about all the things I have to be thankful for and all the blessings in my life. Examples being: Life, Health, Family, Safety, Shelter, and Toast (my dog). Then I started thinking about whether I was really thankful for other aspects of my life. Here's two that kept coming up-

1. Love:
Really? Am I thankful for Love? Do I cherish it. I have a lot of people in my life that I love and some who love me back. But do I cherish this love. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul writes this:

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
- 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 (The Message paraphrase)

Do I really cherish that? Do I embrace what love is and what it looks like?

The answer to all of those questions is a 'hard to swallow' no.

I don't take pleasure in flowering truth, I don't always look for the best, I give up, I think only about me, and I sometimes look back. So, as far as me being thankful for Love and its very presence in my life, I could do better.


2. America/Being an American:

Now those who know me very well may start squirming a bit because you know my distaste for certain things about this country. I guess this is where the NO THANKS comes from in the title. Now don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for the people here, for soldiers, school teachers, nurses, doctors, and pastors. I love being in a country with the freedoms we have and the ability to be creative. I am thankful for sacrifices made and courage shown throughout our history. I am thankful for those things.

But I also despise what goes on within these borders. I despise this culture and sometimes want to just move away from it all, knowing God will provide.

The other day I was driving home from Greensboro, listening to Christmas music, which I've been doing for sometime now, and a song I've heard a lot before came on, but this time one line from the song stung my heart and made me turn red from anger. Here it is:

Do They Know Its Christmas?, by BandAid (talking about Africa)

Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there
are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

WHAT?!?!?!?! Tonight THANK God it's them instead of you? When did we start being thankful that we are not experiencing the pain of others? Is this a Christian mindset or Western-world?

Ok, just typing this is getting me worked up. And I don't even want to get into the fact that the person singing this line is Bono, from U2 and an open Christian.

This song was recorded back in the 70's or 80's, and if this was the mindset then, I do not want to know what it is now. I think the reason I am so angry is because this lyric explains the American ideology so well.

"Well, thank God I don't have to go through that, I don't know what I'd do with out my text messaging and Sperries. If everything is OK here where I live then I'm not gonna worry about them over there."

Now like I said, I love America and all it offers, but I am tired of being force-fed all of the consumerism and amenities that I do not really need. And then I start thinking I can't live without all the stuff after I get it. People have forgotten it is not about stuff and accumulation of goods. Life is about community and relationships, risking your life for you brother and sister.

Jesus tells a parable in Luke 12:13 -21 about a rich young fool (sounds like America's 13- 25 year olds). Here this man has acquired some wealth through farming, and decides to build bigger barns for his stuff and take life easy. Big mistake. God strikes him down dead.

Then Jesus says this in verse 22 and 23- "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes."

God still strikes people down, maybe not with death, but with other things. Example; those addicted to drugs find only pain. Those addicted to spending find only bankruptcy and unhappiness the more they buy. God still strikes us down when we deny Him. It is true, God loves us, but he also loves Himself. God is jealous, and wants all of our attention. But we spend it on other things.

We worry about our lives instead of giving them away (Philippians 3: 7-11)

We focus on me, Me, ME, instead of reaching out to those who need US most (I Corinthian 9:19-23)

We find ourselves wallowing in self-pity and sin, instead of finding accountability in one another, and building the Church that Christ intended us to be. (Romans 6 and 7)

We THANK God it's them and not us, instead of going and making sure it's NOBODY. (the entire book of Acts)

See, I don't hate America. I just hate what we have created ourselves to be. I hate that we have let Satan be our guide when it comes to our time, money, and efforts. I despise that always pretty gleam in the devil's eye that says, "buy me, you can't live without me!"

I'm tired of living in the wealthy bubble and I just want people to see what else God has to offer besides a new pair of jeans and the latest Blackberry (two things I've had to ask forgiveness for coveting)

I guess in the end, the thing I am not always thankful for is Jesus and his sacrifice. If I could only embrace that love and that mindset, I would be able to break free from the Chains of Consumerism and the Locks of Addiction.

The reason I decided to through all this out on a time to be thankful, is because I want people to see that there are bigger things to be thankful for than your TV or car.

This season let's be thankful for LIFE - by giving it to missions.
Let's be thankful for LOVE - by giving it to everyone, no matter who they are.
Let's be thankful for TIME - by spending it with those who don't have much left.
Let's be thankful for OUR MONEY - by giving it to those who have none.
Let's be thankful for FOOD - by feeding the empty.
And let's be thankful for JESUS - by doing what he did.

After all...it is ThanksGIVING!

Adam T.

You Found Me

Good day mates!

A few years ago a sweet little four-man band popped out of Denver, Colorado and changed a lot of peoples lives through their music and message of love and hope. That band, appropriately called The Fray has seemingly been in hiding for almost two years now.

Some people may have heard their previous hits, Cable Car and How to Save a Life, or my personal favorite, She Is...

Well after being overplayed tremendously on the radio and every primetime TV show from One Tree Hill to Grey's Anatomy to even CSI (I thought they solved crimes?), I began to wonder if they could overcome the fame and produce a decent sophomore album.

Well my good friends, it seems the time is upon us and The Fray has finished their new album which is self-titled and for pre-sale on their website: The Fray

The first release off the album is entitled, "You Found Me." It's written about hard times and loss and being found. Here are the lyrics:

You Found Me
By Isaac Slade/Joe King/The Fray

//Verse 1//
I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, “Where you been?”
He said, “Ask anything.”

//Verse 2//
Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
It never came
To the corner of First and Amistad

//Chorus 1//
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me

//Verse 3//
In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her
The only one who’s ever known
Who I am
Who I’m not, and who I want to be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me

//Chorus 2//
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me

//Bridge//
Early morning
The city breaks
I’ve been calling
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never sent me no letters
You got some kind of nerve
Taking all I want

//Chorus 3 and outro//
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you, where were you?

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me

Why’d you have to wait
To find me, to find me?

It's an amazing song, seriously go listen!

This song speaks volumes to me, because it is kind of in tune with how I have been feeling lately about life and all that comes with it. I guess the more I listen to it, the more I begin to understand that people find us a lot of times and we don't realize how important the FINDING can actually be.

I'll continue to ponder this until the full album is released!

Adam

Oh, yeah, here's the link to the video:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=46878924

Arms High and Heart Abandoned

Hello ladies and gents!

I'm sitting in class right now preparing to not listen and make note cards for a 10 page paper I am writing on Sex Trafficking of children...more to come on that later this week or next week.

I just wanted to send out a quick post and ask for something: PRAYER!

I know a lot of you guys are uber-prayer warriors and can throw some up, and I am asking for em now, in case you have a lack of things to pray for these days (which I can't imagine being true).

So, lately I have been praying a lot lately for God to reveal what happens next, once the summer end (2009 Summer). I have flirted with a few ideas, some of those being going to seminary in New Orleans or going to seminary in Wake Forest at Southeastern. But I don't really have a peace about either of those, and I don't know why.

But I know God is doing something, just not sure what it is yet. I can say its big. I can say its not what I thought. and I can say, hold on folks!

Again, if you have time, through out some prayers for me, and better yet for my friends and family who may have to see me leave or go away for a while to follow God.

Thanks.

ADAM

PS- below I have posted a link that has been heavy on my heart and God has continually been putting in my mind. Maybe its here I should be?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4bNnuLcB-4

Excuse Me for all the Excuses!

Hola friends!

So here's the dealio. This Sunday I am briefly speaking at my home church, Day 3, on the topic of excuses, Moses, and my story. It's only for 10 minutes, but hey, they chose me, so I'm not passing it up. The problem I find is me speaking only ten minutes . So to flesh out what I wanted to say I went through a process:

1. I began writing my story.
2. Listened to Hillsong the whole time
3. Lifted my hands during the songs Devotion and The Stand
4. Wrote some more story.
5. Thought about all my excuses, and wrote down everyone.
6. Got really scared at how messed up I am.
7. Ate an Oatmeal Creampie- for comfort!
8. Decided God is bigger than my excuses.
9. Wrote about Grace.
10. Found my favorite John Piper quote.
11. Thought about my friend, George Carter, and his horrible sunburn from this summer, and how he still lead bible study everyday and gave his all for Christ.
12. Felt secure.

Like I said, it was a process.

So now I have read, and reread, and reread what I am gonna say, and have begin cutting it down. There was some stuff I wrote and cute out, so it won't get said Sunday and I feel like it needs to be said, so I figured I would say it here.

First--- I AM SCREWED UP!
I mess up way too much, and I know I do, and I still do it. I feel guilty about a lot of things and I carry that guilt and it shows in my actions and words. Most people don't know its guilt speaking, but I do. I've learned that overcoming our own guilt and failure is one of the hardest things we face. Whether you are a Christian or not, guilt is still something we deal with as humans. Its like a wall we stand against. We lean on it. We punch it. We climb it. And often we get one leg over and pull a humpty dumpty.

If you feel guilty about your past, you aren't alone. Alot of us feel the same way. But please know that God is big enough to forgive you and allow yourself to forgive your own past.

Second-- I NEED RISK!
For too long I have abandoned the Cause of Christ and chosen the cause of i. Have you ever forgotten to call someone important because you got tied up doing something not so important. Like this week, I was supposed to call my sister and I never did. What did I do instead? Well I took a nap, I watched tv, I ate some Chex Mix, and drank a Strawberry Limeade.

We are the same way with the mission God has given us. We spend our time wallowing like pigs in our own pity, guilt, complacency, and fear -- all useless! Think about it. Holding on to all those things gets you know where, they hold you back. When have you ever heard someone say, "Wow, I sure am glad I was too scared to follow God! Who knows what great stuff He would have done. Glad I wasn't a part of that!" I need to take the risk, I need to stop starving Jesus with my own excuses and allow myself to be used---now, where I am!

So last week I wrote about being patient and this week I write about not having excuses and taking risk. I just confused myself. I think a lot of times we need balance, wait on the Lord and cling to him, not our own excuses, understanding, or fears.

what are your excuses?

I have no one I can trust.
I messed up way too many times.
I don't know what to say.
I have scars people can see.
I had sex, and we weren't married.
I took drugs.
My mom doesn't love me.
My dad hits me.
I am fat.
I am too old.
I am too young.
My money is gone.
I am a hypocrite.
My friends will laugh.
I don't know that much about Jesus.
I think I am ugly.
I can't stop looking at pornography.
I am self-centered
I am lustful.
I'm not bold in my walk.
I am fearful of God's call.
I am consumed with pain
I feel worthless.
My past haunts me.
I am selfish.
I am confused.
I am scared.

It's ok to let go, I promise. It is scary, it does hurts, and it makes you question everything. But don't excuse yourself from this Story because of your excuses. Don't let your own guilt control you.

Pray for a release. Pray to overcome. Pray to find peace. And He will give it.

Exodus 3:21
"...And when you go, you shall not go empty!"

Any thoughts?

Adam T.

Time...(or my bipolar spirituality)

Hello hello!

I hope everyone is having a great day and no one is going through withdrawals from the lack of political ads on TV! First, thank everyone who has subscribed to this, its gonna be fun, and if it ever gets boring, just let me know! or if you want to be taken off the list!

I had to get some things out, because I have had a huge burden lately about time and patience. I have been battling a lot lately with waiting on the Lord. I know His timing is always right and He will make clear His path, but when you are called to plant churches and minister to those who are hurting, its really hard to wait for Him to say 'GO!'

It's kind of like when you are a kid and you know your family is gonna go on vacation sometime during the summer but you have to wait forever. Of course its summertime and everything is great- no school, hanging out with friends, and of course, Popsicles, but you know there is something better coming up. The closer it gets the more you want to go. You want to be doing something way cooler than watching re-runs of Growing Pains and eating grilled cheese everyday.

That's what life has been like for me lately. I know God has all this amazing stuff He wants to do in my life, and I am all in- lets go, don't look back! But He is saying wait, sit, and absorb. Maybe some of you have had this state of spirituality. You want so bad to be somewhere else doing something that matters, but you know you are not ready.

I remember back a few years ago when my church, Day 3, first started. The worship band used to sing a song that, at the time, I didn't like. It was called 'There is a Joy in the Journey.' Now, I never liked the melody of the song, and therefore never really took time to know the words. But now, looking back, I realize that song was speaking so loud and I seemingly had cottons balls in my ears. The words went something like this: 'There is a joy in the journey. There's a light we can love on the way. There is a wonder and wildness to life. And freedom for those who obey'

Where in the world did that come from? And why did I never listen?

I'm learning- there is a joy in this journey to becoming the man God has created me to be, its found in Him.

I'm learning- there is a light I can look to when things seem dark, when my path is unclear, and when I have no idea what to do.

I'm learning- life is wild and wonderful...can I get an AMEN!?

I'm learning- that freedom from sin, from doubt, from fear, and from all my weakness comes when I simply obey God, whether it means waiting or going.

My walk with God is bipolar, it changes everyday. I would love to say I wake up every morning with a smile and an attitude of worship and love, but that is hardly the case. Some days I wake up tangled in self and sin. I wake up yearning for more than this. I wake up wanting the world instead of the Way. But I'm learning. I'm waiting. I'm giving my time to God and letting His timing direct my path, instead of my bipolar heart.

John Archibald Wheeler once wrote that, 'Time is what prevents everything from happening at once.'

So I'll give it time, because if I knew everything God has in store, I would miss everything that is happening to get me there.

Adam


PS- Jon always seems to hit the spot!

CHANGING the World, One Smile at a Time.

Post 1. It begins. Thoughts become words. As I begin this first post at 3:46 AM on a Sunday morning, I am listening to Christmas music. Quite out of the ordinary for November 2! But I love this stuff, I'll get to that more in a minute.

I am so excited to start putting some of my ideas out into writing. Now I have never proclaimed to be any good at this, but I think that God gives us all gifts and passions, and one of mine is sharing with people, whether it be my own story or a story I have heard that changed me. Change. Now this is something that has been on my mind a lot the past month or so, especially since I graduate in May. But the central truth I have come to understand is I can't change anyone myself. I may have people in my life who are going through things and I want so bad to change their situation or to change their mindset, but I can't. The only thing I can do is change myself and change my own surroundings. I have learned that change is good and bad. Good, because it forces us to examine what really matters, what we can lose and what we can't live without. Bad, because its painful. To purify gold, it must be past through fire multiple times. This is done to make gold into its purest form possible. Humans are the same.

We must pass through fire (experiences) that burn us at our core, cause us to sweat a little, and we change, hopefully from bad to better. But it's the change and the process that we look back on and realize all that pain had a purpose.

It's amazing that a God who never changes is constantly pushing His children to change. Change their mindset, their location, and their lifestyle, just so He can show how much He doesn't change and His love is never faltering.

So I guess that is why I love Christmas music so much, because it reminds me of a God who is always there, amidst all those shops and Santas that will be coming our way soon, at its core, Christmas is still a celebration of a God who has always loved and over 2000 years ago said, 'Enough is enough!' and sent His son to show us Purity and Sacrifice in its highest form.

For a first blog, this may be long, but I can think of no better way to start this than with the idea that God doesn't change, we must change, and God will use our changing to change the world...hopefully one smile at a time!

Let the Change begin!